A Dream Come True

Yesterday I went from studying for my calculus exam to my nutrition class, then from my nutrition class to my calculus exam.  It was very disturbing to find that I had, during some part of that journey, misplaced my mechanical pencil.  I don't know why I was so bothered about it.  I think I've had that pencil since I started school at DVC in 2011, but I had never before felt any loyalty towards it.  Wilson!  I'm sorry, Wilson.

I borrowed someone else's pencil and the exam was the most brutal I can remember having.  My calculus exams are usually very difficult, especially considering how "prepared" I am for them.  I still end up getting A's somehow.  Anyways, here's hoping that it wasn't a disaster!  Part of me associated the missing pencil with my perceived performance on the test.  I knew they couldn't be linked but I still felt bad about it.  This morning I found the pencil closed inside the math book I was working out of before I went up to nutrition, just in time for my chemistry exam!

Enough about pencils.  Let's get real.  Time to talk about Ted.  For those of you who don't know, Ted is a coworker of mine.  He seems to be convinced that I am a homosexual, which I totally am, of course.  No really though, he wont hear anything to the contrary.  I think that even if Merilee visited me at work he would probably just assume that she's a really, really, convincing transvestite.  Now, there's a possibility that his conviction could be party my fault.  To be honest, it is my fault. 

It all started when someone put a naked mannequin in our back stock.  I covered it up because I thought it was awkward.  I also thought that if I was hanging out naked in the back stock, I'd probably feel pretty cold and want to be covered anyways.  I tried various times to cover it up between helping customers.  I used tech posters, dust rags, drawstring bags, etc. to make the mannequin more modest.  But as I became more creative in my efforts, Ted became more tenacious in his efforts to leave the mannequin exposed.  Once he found out that I was the one responsible for clothing the new "footwear mascot," he pegged me as gay and I've been encouraging it ever since. 

Sometimes I'll hold up a pink shoe to him, "Eddy (he doesn't like his real name being used on the sales floor, so I call him Eddy), do you think this shoe comes in men's sizes?"  I take advantage of the fact that he's easy to mess with.  Ted is a germaphobe, a homophobe, he's got some form of OCD, and he's the first black man I've met who hates black people.  In short, he's just weird, and the fact that I take advantage of his weirdness for my own amusement is a reminder of how far I still have to go on the road to becoming Christlike.

Wow, so that was 3 paragraphs of Ted.  Last night I had a dream about Teds.  It was a really busy day at work (like Christmas time busy) and we had a lot of people working in the footwear department.  In fact, we had three Teds.  One was Ted himself, the other was Ned, his brother, and the other was his sister, though she looked exactly like Ted, except with big black curls.  I don't usually remember my dreams, but I remembered that one.  It didn't seem weird while it was happening.  It wasn't until I was in the bathroom later that morning that I realized what weirdness had crept up from my subconscious. 

So at work tomorrow or Saturday I'll see if my dream comes true.  Then I'll be two for two!