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Sunday, September 15, 2013

The Honeymoon is Over

So it happened.  In case you don't know what I'm talking about, I got married.  Sorry, not just married, but married to Merilee Peterson.  I'll get into exactly what that means later.  For right now, we'll just look at this picture and try to take it all in.  If you've grown up in the Church, you've probably been singing "I love to see the temple, I'll go inside someday.  I'll cov'nant with my Father; I'll promise to obey.  For the temple is a holy place where we are sealed together.  As a child of God, I've learned this truth: A fam'ly is forever."

What is it like on your big day?  How does it change your life?  You've found someone you love, you tell that person that you love them.  You tell you're friends and family, your Bishop, your Stake President, your coworkers, your relatives, your social media contacts, your mission friends and old companions, your classmates, your teachers, your butler, and anyone else you talk to that you love that person.  Then the day comes, and you go to the temple.  In a weird way, it's unfortunate that you usually only get married once, because it's certainly a unique experience going through the temple.

Now that I've said that, let me be clear: I would never get married again.  Between the stress and cost of wedding preparations, it's not really something you'd want to repeat.  Heck, I only did it this time because of Merilee.  What I mean to say, is that she made it all well worth it.  I really shouldn't even complain about the cost or stress of wedding preparations since both were super low for us.  We tried to have a very economical wedding.  In addition to that, Merilee's family did most of the planning and preparations and they pretty much covered the cost of everything.  Thank you Peterson Clan.

Anyways, so if you go back to the picture above, that's where the story resumes.  You've told everyone you're getting married, you've said "yes," and then you walk out of the temple doors to a mass of people clapping, cheering, taking pictures, holding children, etc.  You don't really know what to do.  I've never been famous before.

That day was really nice.  I'm thankfully able to say that it was void of stereotypical wedding day stress.  This was due to all our family and friends that did so much to help with set up for the reception and for everyone who was there at the sealing.  Again, I'll say that it was really nice.  It was super chill.  All we had to do was show up to the temple, get married, take pictures, then go to the reception, which was just a party for us.

As the title to this blog indicates, the honeymoon is over.  We were on the Oregon coast for most of it.  We've now settled into our new home in Hayward, and have resumed normal daily life, just now as a married couple.  I've been in school for about a month now, and have resumed work at the Chalet and in the Math Lab.  I got a lead on a possible job to replace the Chalet, so we'll see how that works out.  I would be searching more aggressively, were it not for the copious amounts of homework that you get assigned when you're in 17.5 units.

Merilee is still working her office manager job.  She gets home between 5:30 and 6:30 (depending on when she leaves in the morning) everyday.  I usually get home between 6:00 and 8:00 (depending on the day) and I try to get all my homework done before I'm home, but so far it's been hard to make that happen.  My past ideas of having more time to devote to school once we were married have proven to be false.  Now that I have the opportunity to spend even more time with Merilee, I spend more time with Merilee.  Because I have someone who cares what time I go to bed, I don't usually stay up later to do homework.  The benefits are great (more time with Merilee, more sleep), they just require more discipline on my part to be as productive as possible outside of the home (trying to get homework done in class if possible or in between classes or in the Math Lab when students don't need help).

In the beginning of this blog, I said that I'd describe what being married to Merilee Peterson (though now Ward) meant, so let me break it down (note that many of these things may not be unique to her).

   1. You are not the only one who sheds.
  • She only has hair on her head whereas I have hair all over my body.  Both of us end up leaving hair all over the place.  It's a good thing we got a vacuum.

   2. You have now joined a troop of monkeys.  Prepared to be monkeyed.  You're welcome.
  • I live with a monkey that's always picking at stuff I have on my face, back, hair, whatever, etc.  I like being monkeyed, so it's fine.  But I know she does it not because she likes it though, she does it because she's a monkey.
   3.  Congratulations!  You just married a portable jukebox!  Get ready to learn some songs! 
  • There's so many times when I've said a phrase or started a sentence with something that triggers Merilee to remember a song and start singing it.  I'll usually ask where it's from if I don't recognize it.  Sometimes it's a song she learned in elementary school, or at a camp.  I really don't know how she remembers every lyric to every song she's every heard.  I think it's amazing, and I love it when she sings.
   4.  I win.  No, I win.  I win.  No, I win.  I win, I always win.  I win, times infinity.
  • Anyone who knows Merilee, knows that she's competitive.  When we started dating, I was determined to not let her win every time at everything.  Because that is just obnoxious.  Now, every time we leave the apartment, it's a race to see who's out the door first, then who's to the car first, and today we actually raced to see who got their seat belt on first.  Of course, this race is repeated in reverse when we come home.  I always win that battle though.  She'll disagree, of course.
   5.  That awkward moment when you come home to your wife in the bedroom with... the vacuum.
  • Who knew that Merilee would love vacuuming?  A+ to Dyson for making the dirt go into a see-through, easily emptying, crafty canister.
   6.  You are now that man sitting next to Sister Ward.
  • Oh I'm well known in the Ward, of course.  But it's by virtue me being married to Merilee that they all know me.  It's not just the fact that she's more lively, outgoing, and attractive than me.  She's been able to go to more of the activities since we moved in because I've either been at work or doing homework.  Today she actually sang in church.  I'd be famous too if I did that, just not in a good way.
   7.  Last but not least...
  • Putting all these things aside, the best part about being married to Merilee is (get ready for something cliche-ish) being loved by someone so fully.  I've had to tell our dating story a few times, and it's amazing to me to remember back when we had rocky times in our relationship, and when I felt like things wouldn't work out because Merilee wasn't so into us.  It amazes me to remember it because of how much that has changed.  Somehow, somewhere along the path from courtship to getting engaged, that changed.  Marriage is awesome because, though it has it's challenges (and this is where the peanut gallery chimes in), it allows us to show each other how much we love each other, and it defines what kind of relationship we should be striving for.  Balancing life inside and outside the home is a struggle, but keeping my focus on my marriage has helped me to have less stress and to enjoy it.  Thanks.  Yes, I can say thanks.
There's a lot more I could write about tonight.  But this blog is plenty long and it's late.  Finally I have something out.  I haven't blogged since right before we got married, but I guess that doesn't really count because I didn't post my last post until tonight as well.  Anyways.  Just know Merilee and I are doing super well and even though the honeymoon is over, we're really enjoying married life with each other.  Thanks everyone for your love and support!

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