Soul to Squeeze

Many have been asking me how married life has been treating me.  If this picture doesn't give you a clue, I'll explain in detail.

But first, I guess I'll just give a general update.  I haven't blogged since September (duh).  I have not been held hostage.  I've only been busy.  School has been pretty crazy, and the rest of life hasn't left me any chance to slow down.  Plus, all that waffle-making.

I'm also applying to schools this semester.  My #1 pick right now is San Luis Obispo, but we'll see what happens.  I would go private if the financial aid was good enough.  I have a few unique circumstances that might get me some scholarships.

Work has been different.  My weekend job at the Chalet isn't giving me many hours.  My boss knows I'm looking for another job.  My tutoring job at DVC has bumped me up to 8 hours a week.  It's a nice job.  Unfortunately, it's been pretty busy at the math lab, so I don't get as much homework done as I thought I would be able to.  I can't really complain since I'm getting paid to tutor and not to do my homework.  It's mostly irritating when people come up with questions where they basically just want you to work through the tediousness that is algebra.  Or people like this one girl who takes a chemistry class at another college that isn't even the chemistry class I technically tutor for, and then wants me to figure out what she was supposed to do in her lab.  That's like you barfing into my bucket and then asking me what you had for breakfast.  I hope that makes sense.

This semester so far has been all about balance.  Balancing schoolwork, my marriage, church responsibilities.  Oh by the way.  I don't know if I mentioned it before but I've been called as the Sunday School instructor for 14 and 15 year-old group.  Merilee and I also just gave talks in our ward.  Anyways, it's been pretty hectic.

It's also been extremely rewarding.  Married life, to answer all the questions that everyone's been asking, has been great.  No, better than great.  It's exceeded my expectations in many ways.  I feel like I tell Merilee all the time that I'm so glad that we got married.  The thing is, that I probably only say it 10% of the time that I feel I want to, so the phrase doesn't get worn out.  I try to tell single friends who ask how married life is that they should just go get married.  But I know that it's not that easy.  As it is, married life is challenging (and I don't even have kids).  The balance of 18.5 units of school and part-time work with family life really requires effort, but it's so worth it if it's for the right person.  We have a lot of blessings and a lot of things going for us that make our marriage super great.  It's sad to see families and couples struggle, but we're glad to have the Gospel and each other.  We're pretty excited about that.

The Honeymoon is Over

So it happened.  In case you don't know what I'm talking about, I got married.  Sorry, not just married, but married to Merilee Peterson.  I'll get into exactly what that means later.  For right now, we'll just look at this picture and try to take it all in.  If you've grown up in the Church, you've probably been singing "I love to see the temple, I'll go inside someday.  I'll cov'nant with my Father; I'll promise to obey.  For the temple is a holy place where we are sealed together.  As a child of God, I've learned this truth: A fam'ly is forever."

What is it like on your big day?  How does it change your life?  You've found someone you love, you tell that person that you love them.  You tell you're friends and family, your Bishop, your Stake President, your coworkers, your relatives, your social media contacts, your mission friends and old companions, your classmates, your teachers, your butler, and anyone else you talk to that you love that person.  Then the day comes, and you go to the temple.  In a weird way, it's unfortunate that you usually only get married once, because it's certainly a unique experience going through the temple.

Now that I've said that, let me be clear: I would never get married again.  Between the stress and cost of wedding preparations, it's not really something you'd want to repeat.  Heck, I only did it this time because of Merilee.  What I mean to say, is that she made it all well worth it.  I really shouldn't even complain about the cost or stress of wedding preparations since both were super low for us.  We tried to have a very economical wedding.  In addition to that, Merilee's family did most of the planning and preparations and they pretty much covered the cost of everything.  Thank you Peterson Clan.

Anyways, so if you go back to the picture above, that's where the story resumes.  You've told everyone you're getting married, you've said "yes," and then you walk out of the temple doors to a mass of people clapping, cheering, taking pictures, holding children, etc.  You don't really know what to do.  I've never been famous before.

That day was really nice.  I'm thankfully able to say that it was void of stereotypical wedding day stress.  This was due to all our family and friends that did so much to help with set up for the reception and for everyone who was there at the sealing.  Again, I'll say that it was really nice.  It was super chill.  All we had to do was show up to the temple, get married, take pictures, then go to the reception, which was just a party for us.

As the title to this blog indicates, the honeymoon is over.  We were on the Oregon coast for most of it.  We've now settled into our new home in Hayward, and have resumed normal daily life, just now as a married couple.  I've been in school for about a month now, and have resumed work at the Chalet and in the Math Lab.  I got a lead on a possible job to replace the Chalet, so we'll see how that works out.  I would be searching more aggressively, were it not for the copious amounts of homework that you get assigned when you're in 17.5 units.

Merilee is still working her office manager job.  She gets home between 5:30 and 6:30 (depending on when she leaves in the morning) everyday.  I usually get home between 6:00 and 8:00 (depending on the day) and I try to get all my homework done before I'm home, but so far it's been hard to make that happen.  My past ideas of having more time to devote to school once we were married have proven to be false.  Now that I have the opportunity to spend even more time with Merilee, I spend more time with Merilee.  Because I have someone who cares what time I go to bed, I don't usually stay up later to do homework.  The benefits are great (more time with Merilee, more sleep), they just require more discipline on my part to be as productive as possible outside of the home (trying to get homework done in class if possible or in between classes or in the Math Lab when students don't need help).

In the beginning of this blog, I said that I'd describe what being married to Merilee Peterson (though now Ward) meant, so let me break it down (note that many of these things may not be unique to her).

   1. You are not the only one who sheds.

• She only has hair on her head whereas I have hair all over my body.  Both of us end up leaving hair all over the place.  It's a good thing we got a vacuum.

   2. You have now joined a troop of monkeys.  Prepared to be monkeyed.  You're welcome.

• I live with a monkey that's always picking at stuff I have on my face, back, hair, whatever, etc.  I like being monkeyed, so it's fine.  But I know she does it not because she likes it though, she does it because she's a monkey.

   3.  Congratulations!  You just married a portable jukebox!  Get ready to learn some songs! 

• There's so many times when I've said a phrase or started a sentence with something that triggers Merilee to remember a song and start singing it.  I'll usually ask where it's from if I don't recognize it.  Sometimes it's a song she learned in elementary school, or at a camp.  I really don't know how she remembers every lyric to every song she's every heard.  I think it's amazing, and I love it when she sings.

   4.  I win.  No, I win.  I win.  No, I win.  I win, I always win.  I win, times infinity.

• Anyone who knows Merilee, knows that she's competitive.  When we started dating, I was determined to not let her win every time at everything.  Because that is just obnoxious.  Now, every time we leave the apartment, it's a race to see who's out the door first, then who's to the car first, and today we actually raced to see who got their seat belt on first.  Of course, this race is repeated in reverse when we come home.  I always win that battle though.  She'll disagree, of course.

   5.  That awkward moment when you come home to your wife in the bedroom with... the vacuum.

• Who knew that Merilee would love vacuuming?  A+ to Dyson for making the dirt go into a see-through, easily emptying, crafty canister.

   6.  You are now that man sitting next to Sister Ward.

• Oh I'm well known in the Ward, of course.  But it's by virtue me being married to Merilee that they all know me.  It's not just the fact that she's more lively, outgoing, and attractive than me.  She's been able to go to more of the activities since we moved in because I've either been at work or doing homework.  Today she actually sang in church.  I'd be famous too if I did that, just not in a good way.

   7.  Last but not least...

• Putting all these things aside, the best part about being married to Merilee is (get ready for something cliche-ish) being loved by someone so fully.  I've had to tell our dating story a few times, and it's amazing to me to remember back when we had rocky times in our relationship, and when I felt like things wouldn't work out because Merilee wasn't so into us.  It amazes me to remember it because of how much that has changed.  Somehow, somewhere along the path from courtship to getting engaged, that changed.  Marriage is awesome because, though it has it's challenges (and this is where the peanut gallery chimes in), it allows us to show each other how much we love each other, and it defines what kind of relationship we should be striving for.  Balancing life inside and outside the home is a struggle, but keeping my focus on my marriage has helped me to have less stress and to enjoy it.  Thanks.  Yes, I can say thanks.

There's a lot more I could write about tonight.  But this blog is plenty long and it's late.  Finally I have something out.  I haven't blogged since right before we got married, but I guess that doesn't really count because I didn't post my last post until tonight as well.  Anyways.  Just know Merilee and I are doing super well and even though the honeymoon is over, we're really enjoying married life with each other.  Thanks everyone for your love and support!

Not so Fast there, Charles.

So I usually consider myself to be pretty computer literate.  I type, I can use MS Office proficiently, I have 5 buttons my mouse.  I manage to surf the internet without giving my computer aids.  I know binary code.  How then?  How did it take me like 30 minutes to make a meme?  Oh well.  It was a painful process that included many google searches and cursing Paint for being so dumb.  I won't go into much detail, just know for future reference that you can in fact put text  in your picture, but you cannot change its color.  Racism.

So it's been a while since I blogged.  I guess I'll give you a quick 34 word recap of what I've been up to.  Announcements, internship, announcements, work, announcements, internship, work, church, running (trying), sleeping, announcements, workinternshipchurch, looking for a place to live, dancing, stuff, watching funny videos of animals, other stuff, phone calls, CF clinic, etc.

And there you have it.

So below there is the meme that took me an obnoxious amount of time to make.  On Tuesday I fasted as part of the Ward's 40 day fast for missionary work.  Merilee did hers on Monday and had a great experience.  She's such a great example.  She had a neat conversation about the Church with one of her coworkers that day.  I knew that my fast would have blessings, even if I didn't have any missionary experiences that precise day.  It's a good thing I had that attitude or else I would have been like Chan here because pretty much the only person I had a conversation with that day was with another member at the lab where I'm interning.

 

And he wasn't even inactive!  The last significant missionary experience I remember having was probably a couple weeks ago when I was online and chatted with a friend from school.  He was always really skittish talking about Mormonism in class, and I could tell that he had certain perceptions probably from knowing Mormon people at school.  I forget what exactly we talked about but I do remember just telling him that I didn't mind answering questions or talking about it and that he could feel free to ask me anything.  I felt like it was major for him for someone to be so open and non-defensive about it.

Okay folks so that's pretty much it.  Excuse me while I go look for a place for me and my bride to live.

Into the Sun

I've learned that it's always safer just not to listen to Lady Gaga.  Just don't.  Especially after watching one of her music videos (a big mistake I made one time).

So since I last posted about my and Merilee's engagement, we've talked a lot about it.  We've been getting input from a bunch of people, weighing our options and the risks associated with marriage, and we've decided after all, that marriage is a really good idea and we're really excited for it.

I had a crazy two weeks of finals.  So far grades are out for DVC.  Laspo will come out with grades soon, hopefully.  Right now I'm sitting pretty (whatever that means) with two "A"s from DVC.  Boo-yah calculus and nutrition.  I'm really worried about my physics and chemistry classes though.  I only scored 100% or higher on pretty much every exam in those classes.  Really though, having your entire future, as it would seem, in the hands of your summer-bound professors is quite stressful.

Right now I'm still part time status at the Chalet, and still tutoring kids in their last couple weeks of school.  I'm hoping to get an internship through my chemistry teacher's wife who I met when she gave a lecture on natural polymers for our last lecture on organic chemistry.  She'll be back in the country in 2 weeks so hopefully that will get things going.  It's a sort of challenging point right now.  I'm trying to get stuff with the VA going so I can get educational benefits.  I'm also figuring out if I can take a summer class that will benefit me, while trying to decide on what to do with work since I might/might not be interning.  It's all pretty messy even before you add wedding plans.

On a happier note, I'm making wedding plans!  Oh, my life is so great.  Sunday we took engagement pictures.  We haven't gotten them back yet but I got some previews here.  They were taken by our photographer's boyfriend, who shot them with his smartphone while she shot with her camera.  So they're not really the pictures, but some of them are good enough to be.

Like this one.

And this one.

There was actually lots of sun in our faces for parts of it.  You'd think we were witnessing the second coming.

Yeah, like I said, lots of staring into the sun.

The camera was able to capture "the look" that Merilee does, multiple times.

We also decided to take some kissy pictures.  We aren't the type of couple to send pictures of us making out with our announcements, but we took some anyways in case we wanted to gross anyone out.  I also think Merilee just wanted evidence in case I ever say that she's never kissed me.

This one was actually my favorite from this batch.

They called this "the smolder."

The Proposal

So Facebook says I'm engaged.  It must be true.  It is true.  Thank goodness.  I am one lucky guy.  So family, friends, how did this all happen?  I decided to dedicate this post to telling the story about how I proposed to Merilee.  I do so fully aware that it will probably fail in it's purpose of reducing the number of times I will be asked to recount it.  I don't mind though.  It's a story I love telling.  The best part is practicing my narration skills.  Shall I begin?  "It was a dark and stormy night..."

Actually, it was a gorgeous day.  I started by trying to call Merilee's dad.  Missouri is two hours ahead and I hadn't talked to him yet.  I had been trying the last day or two but had not been able to catch him at a time good for talking.  The poor man has been sifting through the ashes of his former home and I was trying to be patient yet persistent in having a legitimate conversation.  For chivalry to be appeased, I had to, as they say, "slay the dragon before entering in the Emerald City."  Well, that morning, he was working, so it still wasn't looking hopeful.  It turns out that he tutors.  Like me.


Our 30 second mini-conversations leading up to Saturday had done a good job at accumulating a thick layer of awkwardness.  I had interrupted him yet again that morning and he told me that he would call me back in five minutes.  I waited 20 minutes before I tried giving him another call, which went straight to voicemail.  I would find out later that he had actually said, or meant to say, "call me back in five minutes."  Oh well, I did eventually get a hold of him and got points for persistence in the process.

We started by going from building cleanup at the church to an art studio in Alamo.  It's called Color Bundles.  It's totes legit.  Merilee loves art and I've always wanted to see her work.  Since her house in Missouri burned down, I've been sad that I wont get to see all the art projects she did in college.  How it works at the studio is they sketch something for you, then they teach you how to paint it using acrylic paints.  With the lesson you actually learn how to paint instead of producing something that looks like something your 6 year old painted.  No offense Elizabeth.  I told them to sketch some sort of fruit platter for Merilee, and I sent them a picture of the two of us for them to sketch for me to paint.  Check them out.

 

So as you can see, Merilee is super talented.  I'll admit that I'm impressed with how well I did too, considering that it was my first time painting on canvas.

So one lesson Merilee and I learned from the date is that there is a law in the universe that prevents me from surprising her.  We walked into the studio and the canvases were set up so that we were across from each other and wouldn't be able to see each other's art.  She didn't know that what I had done.  It was going to be the perfect surprise.  It would have been, except she could see through the back of the printed out piece of paper hanging above my canvas.  You can see the same thing was done with hers.  It was disappointing, but I took some comfort knowing that she probably hadn't noticed the ring on her finger that I had the studio artist add.

So the two and a half hour lesson I paid for actually turned into five.  We didn't mind at all because it was actually super fun.  We were a bit hungry though.  We left our art at the studio so it could dry, and we drove down to Chipotle in Dublin.  The art had taken much longer than planned, but we were flexible.  We would soon discover how flexible we could be.

With earnest desires to scarf down a burrito, Merilee's favorite snack, we pulled into the Chipotle parking lot.  Right as I pulled into a spot, I heard the distinct sounds that a tire makes when it is flat.  Many have asked at this point in the story, "but was it a real flat?"  How do you fake a flat?  No, it was real.  Though I didn't feel grateful in the past when I had car issues, I was glad then to be able to show my man strength and change my tire in front of Merilee.  My composure during such a stressful situation probably even more deeply confirmed to her that she was with the right man.  Plus, my biceps increase in size when I'm doing hard labor, which I was confident would please her.

So I changed the tire and put on the donut.  It was flat.  So we got our Chipotle and walked to her house, which was a little over a mile from where we were.  It was a pleasant stroll.  The sun was out.  A light breeze kept me dry and played with Merilee's hair as she tried to stuff beef, rice, and beans into her mouth without chewing on her locks.  I decided to take advantage of the time and called Randy, her dad.  This time we got to have a real conversation so that was good.

As we arrived to her house to get her car, Merilee wanted to go inside and put away her left over burrito bowl.  I told her that it would be fine if we did it later.  She insisted on taking it inside, which I objected to.  I had enlisted her roommate to help prepare the apartment for the proposal that night, and going inside to put something in the fridge would ruin yet another surprise.  I said that I was hungry and might finish off her burrito bowl in the car.  She wasn't buying it.  I pretty much had to force her back into her car.  It was pretty obvious that there was something in her apartment.  Once again that eternal law held true.

We headed up to get our art.  I was still on the phone with Randy at the time.  We, got back to Chipotle, picked up my spare, took it over to Safeway, and filled it.  After putting it on for what felt like the 10th time,  I got in and the car wouldn't move without making a screeching noise.

At that point, I was done with my car for the day.  And I said "hey babe, lets go get some froyo."  So leaving the worries of my broken down car with a week full of classes and finals ahead of me, we went to Tutti Frutti, the froyo place we went to on our very first date.  Unfortunately it was a bit chilly to talk outside like we did that one summer night.  Instead, we sat on a very comfortable couch and talked about what we had enjoyed about the day.  We decided that we would watch Thor when we got home.  It was on netflix and Merilee still hadn't seen it.

We arrived back at her place and headed inside.  It had been a long day, but a really good day.  She knew what was coming next.  She knew she was getting proposed to that night.  She knew that her apartment was going to be decorated somehow when she walked in.  She knew what was on the painting I was about to reveal.  She knew everything.  The only surprise of that day had been the flat tire. 

We opened the door and there was a path of rose petals going from the door to the couch.  There were two dozen pink roses on the table with some fancy candles.  I sat her down across from me and unwrapped the painting.  The rest is all just some mushy stuff.  You know.  I just basically explained to her that the painting was a visual representation of what I want.  She makes me so happy, and I've never been more sure of anything in my entire life than what I want for us.  I got down on one knee, popped the question, and she said yes.  She said yes!  To celebrate I played a video I had queued of fireworks.  I just thought she deserved fireworks when she got engaged.  We made some phone calls and ended the night on a high note by watching Thor. 





Looking Forward. To Change.

Sunday Drive

I wish I had more callus.  On my fingers, so I could play the guitar better and with less pain, and on my feet, so I could run barefoot for more than 10 minutes without my feet starting to burn and blister.  It doesn't grow overnight, unfortunately.

So things have just been changing for me around here in the bay.  Last week, the Schulls packed up and left for Southern California.  The picture of the U-Haul wasn't theirs, but it was somebody's.  Man that does not look like fun.  Anyways, with the Schulls out of the area, things will definitely be different.  I will seriously miss the food but even more will I miss the people. 

Merilee's Favorite Goat

Paul and Melanie are getting ready to sell their house and move down there as well.  Paul says that he's excited to start a new adventure and I'm happy for him.  It's been a crazy ride up here in Dublin.  I can't imagine what it must feel like to be leaving this area after everything that's happened.  Exhilarating, because life certainly hasn't been easy here, but also sad because, well, change just feels sad sometimes.  I think.  Also, starting up in a new place, leaving the familiar for the unknown, it can all be a great cause for fear or excitement, or both.

Halloween

What's that on her finger?!

After Paul and Melanie go, I'm pretty much all that's left.  Mom went to Washington, Dad is gone, my sisters are in Utah, Mansur is off doing his thing, and now Paul is moving too.  Grandpa Ron and I will stick together for a while but I'm pretty sure he's just going to end up moving down to Southern California too.  Oh well, I gave up on him adopting me a long time ago anyways.  The only thing I got going for me so I don't end up totally alone is the fact that I'll have some new family in the area in July.  So that's pretty exciting.

Here's some fancy pictures in case some of you weren't at Dad's funeral and didn't meet Merilee.

A fox wearing a fox hat

Buried in twigs.

A Dream Come True

Yesterday I went from studying for my calculus exam to my nutrition class, then from my nutrition class to my calculus exam.  It was very disturbing to find that I had, during some part of that journey, misplaced my mechanical pencil.  I don't know why I was so bothered about it.  I think I've had that pencil since I started school at DVC in 2011, but I had never before felt any loyalty towards it.  Wilson!  I'm sorry, Wilson.

I borrowed someone else's pencil and the exam was the most brutal I can remember having.  My calculus exams are usually very difficult, especially considering how "prepared" I am for them.  I still end up getting A's somehow.  Anyways, here's hoping that it wasn't a disaster!  Part of me associated the missing pencil with my perceived performance on the test.  I knew they couldn't be linked but I still felt bad about it.  This morning I found the pencil closed inside the math book I was working out of before I went up to nutrition, just in time for my chemistry exam!

Enough about pencils.  Let's get real.  Time to talk about Ted.  For those of you who don't know, Ted is a coworker of mine.  He seems to be convinced that I am a homosexual, which I totally am, of course.  No really though, he wont hear anything to the contrary.  I think that even if Merilee visited me at work he would probably just assume that she's a really, really, convincing transvestite.  Now, there's a possibility that his conviction could be party my fault.  To be honest, it is my fault. 

It all started when someone put a naked mannequin in our back stock.  I covered it up because I thought it was awkward.  I also thought that if I was hanging out naked in the back stock, I'd probably feel pretty cold and want to be covered anyways.  I tried various times to cover it up between helping customers.  I used tech posters, dust rags, drawstring bags, etc. to make the mannequin more modest.  But as I became more creative in my efforts, Ted became more tenacious in his efforts to leave the mannequin exposed.  Once he found out that I was the one responsible for clothing the new "footwear mascot," he pegged me as gay and I've been encouraging it ever since. 

Sometimes I'll hold up a pink shoe to him, "Eddy (he doesn't like his real name being used on the sales floor, so I call him Eddy), do you think this shoe comes in men's sizes?"  I take advantage of the fact that he's easy to mess with.  Ted is a germaphobe, a homophobe, he's got some form of OCD, and he's the first black man I've met who hates black people.  In short, he's just weird, and the fact that I take advantage of his weirdness for my own amusement is a reminder of how far I still have to go on the road to becoming Christlike.

Wow, so that was 3 paragraphs of Ted.  Last night I had a dream about Teds.  It was a really busy day at work (like Christmas time busy) and we had a lot of people working in the footwear department.  In fact, we had three Teds.  One was Ted himself, the other was Ned, his brother, and the other was his sister, though she looked exactly like Ted, except with big black curls.  I don't usually remember my dreams, but I remembered that one.  It didn't seem weird while it was happening.  It wasn't until I was in the bathroom later that morning that I realized what weirdness had crept up from my subconscious. 

So at work tomorrow or Saturday I'll see if my dream comes true.  Then I'll be two for two!

Combustion

Growing up, I never thought that I'd be good at electrochemistry or with topics like free energy.  Since taking college chemistry and learning about these topics, I've discovered I can understand them better than I had thought.  Sometimes I even have nerd moments.  Like the other day, I was reflecting on how oxygen is so good at accepting electrons.  It's so good, in fact, that the term that describes when an atom donates electrons to one that accepts them is called oxidation, even though other elements can act as electron acceptors. 

The reactions that most people are familiar with are usually reactions in which carbon is oxidized, such as in the combustion of methane (CH4), propane (C3H8), or octane (C8H18).  People who haven't taken biology might not know that the combustion of glucose is constantly happening in each cell in the body.  It's incredible to think about how much our lives, or just life on earth in general, depends on combustion reactions in which carbon is oxidized by oxygen.

It was most likely the combustion of cellulose (C6H10O5), that destroyed my girlfriend's parent's house in Missouri on Thursday.  No one was home at the time, so no one was hurt, thankfully.  Merilee still hasn't been able to talk to her parents, but it appears that everything is gone.  Nothing remains but the trampoline and slide in the yard.  They don't know how it happened, but they have renters and it's possible that someone left something on.  Who knows?

They had insurance and her parents were able to stay with nearby family, so no one is sleeping out in the barn with the cats and eventually they'll be able to replace a lot of what they lost.  Some things they'll never get back though.  Merilee has tons of fond memories there, even though she might still have nightmares every now and then about having to milk the goats.  She also kept a lot of personal items in that house: souvenirs from every country she's visited (quite a few), art projects she made in college (she loves art), 20 years of journal writing, her birth certificate, and many other personal items.

Though I've never lost my home to fire, I can imagine that it sucks.  If you live in southern California, which seems to catch on fire every year, you might expect to have something like this happen eventually, but the way it's happened just seems really mean.  I would feel bad complaining to Merilee about it, but I was excited to visit that house some day.  I would have loved to see her art, check out all her souvenirs, and play with her goats.  Though, I guess the latter is still possible.  Merilee also mentioned that her mother's wedding dress, which she wanted to use for her wedding, would be lost.  I would have liked to have been able to see it some day.

I don't really know what you're supposed to learn from your house burning down.  Losing all the possessions that reminded you of fond memories of your past is hard.  I'd say it's probably almost like someone died.  Those things are just gone.  Merilee is really positive though.  She's a great example of looking at the blessings you have and of being grateful.  And I love her dearly.

Becoming a Marksman (or Markswoman)

So according to the spell check on blogger, Markswoman is not a valid word.  Way2b sexist, blogger.  Why must Markswoman be broken into two words, Marks Woman, while Marksman is perfectly valid.  I want equality.  I want some SunChips® too.  Chocolate Milk on the side.  Or better yet, Goat's Milk. 

 

Marksmanship, if I remember correctly, was an upgrade in Warcraft 2 that increased your archers' damage significantly.  It also happens to have something to do with how well you can shoot a target by firing a projectile.  Archery is fancy, but I ain't no Katniss.  So instead, last Saturday, I shot a rifle.  There's a group of reeel fancy shooters called Appleseed that host an event every year that teaches lessons on using a rifle and simultaneously commemorates the people and events of the Revolutionary War.  I went with Merilee, her sister, and her brother-in-law.  It was totes cray cray fo sheezy.

Most of the instruction and practice was on the prone position, but we also practiced seated and standing positions.  The latter two were less accurate positions for hitting our targets, which were 25 yards away.  I didn't know that there was so much to shooting a gun.  I had done the Riflemanshipbadge course at scout camp, so I had shot a .22.  Other than that, my experience with guns was restricted to what I had observed in Bourne, Bond, and Bauer productions.  Gotta love the JBs.

What's impressed me the most about riflemen is how hard it actually is to be as accurate as they are.  You don't really get the sense of difficulty when you watch stuff on TV.  One thing we focused on was "finding your NPOA."  NPOA stands for Natural Point Of Aim.  Besides the obvious difficulty of focusing your eyes on the target, which looks tiny from even only 25 yards away, and your iron sights, there's also all the shaky bisniss that your body does.  If you find your NPOA, you're in a position that's so comfortable and relaxed that you could theoretically fall asleep.  This position uses the tension of the sling and other things to let you keep your position without using muscle, which muscle use would lead to shaking.  Then you have your breath that can alter your shot.  As Don said, snipers even have to shoot between heartbeats.

After going through a clip practicing a certain technique, we went up to our targets and could see immediately how we did.  It was interesting to see how much of a difference these supposedly "little" things made on our shots.  It reminds me of a seminary lesson I once had.  Two students held ends of a string on opposite ends of our classroom.  One student remained stationary while the other had to move depending on how much the string was going to be rotated (measured with a protractor).  It was impressive to see, as I did at the shooting range, how changes, even if they seem small from where we are, can have a big impact on the end result.  A breath or muscle contraction can cause you to miss your target, and varying off course by even so little as 1 degree can drastically change your destination.

And so it is with life.  A lot of times, I feel like it's so easy to get off track.  All I have to do is barely twitch and I'm already on a set course for a place that I don't want to be.  I'm getting better at doing the little things, so hopefully that means I'm on target.  Strait is the gate and narrow is the way, and there are few that find it.

Sicker than Your Mom

I'm sick: sick of getting sick.  Saturday I came down with the same thing that I've gotten twice already since the beginning of the year.  ...and now I sound like my mom.  I love you mom.  Anyways, if you get the reoccurring Charles Virus, here are the symptoms, ordered from most uncomfortable to most bearable:

#1 - Aching Bones
-It's mainly the back, neck, and the back of the skull that hurt, but it can travel down to the lower body as well.

#2 - Headache and Lightheadedness
-This is mainly related to the aching at the back of the skull and neck, but the rest of your head can hurt too and you get sort of dizzy.

#3 - Drowsiness
-Get some sleep or you might will turn into a zombie.  Once you get enough sleep, you are fine.

#4 - Fake Fever
-You will feel warm like you're radiating heat.  You will sweat (especially if cuddling closely with someone), but you will not have a temperature and might not even feel warm to the touch.

#5 - Dehydration
-It doesn't matter how much water you drink.  For some reason you are always thirsty, and your pee is dark like apple juice.  Yum.

#6 - Stomach
-The first time I felt nauseated, and I didn't eat anything for like 3 days.  Then, my stomach had this weird feeling like there was a lump at the base of the esophagus that I only felt while breathing or eating.  The second and this last time, I didn't feel nauseated, but still felt this weird lump.

The best remedy I've found: Go search in Mary's medicine cabinet and commandeer the acetaminophen, take two, and wait 30 minutes.  Sleep if you feel tired.  The aching bones subside (and as a consequence your head feels a lot better too).  You are left feeling slightly warm but you feel loads greater than before.  Things are looking up.  Just keep drinking water and you'll be fine.

In other news, I find both squirrels and deer to be acceptable game.

My Deer/Squirrel Haiku:

Deer graze squirrels climb
God's garden hosts all beauty
Pearls before swine

There are some things that make you feel worse than being sick.  Like when people think little of what should be respected and valued.  This video makes me feel better.

Blogger Mondays, Ice Cream Sundaes, and Hey Dude - Back Off the Lay's®

So it's Monday once again.  In Japan they use Yen.  Bears often congregate in a den, but I don't know when.  If you do, tell me then.  After that, I'll know who's my real friend.  I know a girl at school named Jen.  I have an Aunt who had a hen.  If someone needed to borrow money, and he was my friend, to him I would gladly lend.  Don't forget, when exchanging texts, to press send.

I saw this posted yesterday.  I thought it was the best thing ever.

I apologize for the rhyming.  Anyways, as I was saying about Monday... 

My first few blogs always came out on Saturdays.  Now, they usually don't make it out until Monday.  Weekends are just packed.  Between Church, work, homework, and activities and other stuff I get to occupy my weekends with, I don't really have time, energy, or motivation to write stuff.  Writing all this inspiration isn't easy, you know?

So Friday and Saturday I attended a conference in San Jose.  It was the Phi Theta Kappa International Conference.  Talk about a waste of time, money, and energy used for the exorbitant amount of clapping you have to do packed into a convention center filled with crazy people.  Seriously though, everyone was like on crack.

I was able to catch some of a much better conference, however, when I returned Saturday afternoon.  I went to the Priesthood Session Saturday evening, then watched both Sunday Sessions.  I took some notes, mostly at the Priesthood Session though.  I had a 7 year old on my lap in the morning on Sunday and in the afternoon I think I was just too tired to write much.  Conference is tiring, as my less active math teacher told me at the conference in San Jose.  I can't wait to get the Ensign with the talks.  I'm so much more a visual person.  Inspirational quotes I hear over the broadcast are great, but they only stick for about 4 seconds and sometimes I can't even get it down on paper before it's gone.  Why is my memory so bad sometimes?

Exhaling: Me and My Little Friend, CF

Until recently, I didn't know what cuticles were.  The word sounds an awful lot like cubicle.  Are they cute cubicles?  It turns out that they're not cute cubicles.  I can always blame my parents for any lack of common knowledge I seem to posses.  Why Mom and Dad?  Why did you not teach me to push back my cuticles?

So today I thought it would be appropriate to talk about CF, since I just had my last clinic visit on Thursday.  Mostly I just have family reading this blog, but some others reading this may not know that I have cystic fibrosis.  I was diagnosed last year.  If you don't know what CF is, don't google it.  Instead, visit cff.org.  I would post the link to my CysticLife profile, but I don't think you can view it unless you're part of the website community.

So every three months I go to the CF center that Kaiser has in Oakland.  They have clinics where they check up on all the CF patients they have.  Most people my age were diagnosed as small children.  Nowadays there is infant screening for it.  I wasn't diagnosed until about May or June of last year.  Having such a late diagnosis is really great because a late diagnosis is indicative of a healthy life.  Some older men don't know that they have CF until they're trying to have kids.  The only reason I found out that I had CF was because I went in for a carrier screen after I found out that I had four possible CF mutations floating around in my family.

So Thursday was like my 4th or so visit to the clinic.  Each visit is either good or bad.  My first was awesome.  I went in and had really great numbers for my PFT (Pulmonary Function Test).  I didn't really know what to expect going in, but it was more like a little chat with the doctor rather than some intense discussion of treatment options.  I mean, apart from the genetics report and my sweat chloride test, I was perfectly healthy and there wasn't anything really to treat.  I walked out of my first clinic feeling like I didn't even have CF.

Last Thanksgiving I ran a 5k as part of Outrun CF

Since then, things have been up and down.  It's a complicated relationship.  If my CF doctor is slow to react to something like a weird test result or a weird symptom, part of me feels like I need to be heard and I need to be taken care of properly.  Another part of me is relieved when that happens.  I mean, if they don't think something is a big deal, then I shouldn't worry about it either, right?  Now I feel like I'm always trying to balance how I feel about my condition.  On one side, I'm a mostly healthy young adult.  I don't have to take half the medications that most CF patients do, I don't have a vest, and my PFT scores are great.  On the other side, I have CF, I feel different than other people, my disease is progressive, I might not be able to have children without doing something crazy like in vitro fertilization, CFTR related diabetes is possible, I'm always coughing and clearing my throat after coming back from a run, I'm 22 and may have osteoporosis.  Blah Blah Blah, it goes on.  It doesn't bite at me everyday like it used to, but many times it's a deliberate choice to be calm about it.  Other times I just feel like I need to stop pitying myself, suck it up, and move on.

My visit on Thursday was not one of the good visits.  It started out well.  I was worried about my PFT score going in because I haven't had time to run since mid January with how busy the semester has been.  When the computer said that I was 7% up from my last test, which was great because my numbers had been steadily declining since my first PFT in June, my worry was alleviated.  My victory was short lived, however, when my doctor came in and told me that the machine was likely wrong.  It makes sense.  Could I really believe that not running, which was my form of "respiratory therapy," would be helping me? 

During the visit, they were talking to me more about future treatments, about medications that I would eventually take and how they would get me a vest once I got better insurance.  The dietitian, who I met for the first time, wanted me to test my blood sugar two hours after every big meal and a few times after waking up to see if my abnormally high 2 hour glucose test they did months ago could be verified or if it was a lab error.  She said that, because I was pancreatic sufficient, high blood sugar would be from insulin resistance (type 2 diabetes, not CFTR related).  I have a family history of diabetes, and although I'm not overweight, it could happen.  I really don't want to end up diabetic like my dad.  Every time I stick myself I remember how my dad always used to do it.  It's a reminder of how fragile health can be and of how he died.

After the visit I wasn't done.  I met with another nurse who was helping out with some research that Kaiser is doing.  They basically just wanted some of my blood for research and as part of a project that the CDC is doing to make sure that CF centers' infant screenings are working accurately.  I was picked because I have at least one mutation that's relatively rare (lucky me?).  As with all research, there was a lot of paperwork I had to do, consents and all of that.  I'm sure 10% of it was necessary.  Why wouldn't someone participate?  I felt that it was the least that I could do.  The medical professionals and those at the CDC are the ones who are doing all the work.  If I can sacrifice 5 minutes of my time to help other CF centers diagnose and treat others, I'd definitely do it.  Plus, some of my cells are being immortalized, which sounds pretty awesome.

After that, I still wasn't done.  I had another appointment to look into my fertility.  I knew that more than 95% of men with CF were infertile.  That's not to be confused with sterile.  With cystic fibrosis,  the vas deferens is either not correctly developed or is absent.  This means that it's still possible to have children, but it would involve going to a fertility clinic of some sort to do in vitro fertilization.  The idea of having to do that didn't bother me much.  Yeah, it's not as easy as the traditional way, but one positive is that children are a lot easier to plan.  No "accidents," and yes I can call them that because I was one, or so my mom says.

Well it turns out that there's nothing wrong with my vas deferens.  In fact, I don't appear to have any vas deferens at all.  I'm so glad that this information about my man parts is on the Internet.  Anyways, though I knew the odds going in, I'm still surprised at how much the confirmation affected me.  I know that I can still have kids, and they will be mine, perhaps with my eyes, face, hairy chest, or other physical features (not just my mutations).  Still, the news really hit me.  I think I didn't realize before how much I want to be a father.

Thursday was just a reminder how much CF sucks.  I feel horrible when I complain about it because there's so many that have it worse than me, but I hate it.  I don't want to have to take medications or enzymes.  I don't want to have to use a vest or do weird treatments.  I don't want to have to take my inhaler before going out for a run.  I don't want diabetes.  I don't want to have to prick myself everyday and inject myself with insulin as if I was a lab in chemistry.  I don't want to have to take my wife to a fertility clinic before we can start a family.  I don't want any of it.  I still try to see the positive, and remember that God didn't promise anyone an easy life.  I did learn a lot last year after going through the diagnosis.  I guess I just have more to learn from it.

For now, all I can do is exhale.  Knowing that Heavenly Father loves me, knows me, and is guiding me helps.  Prayer is great.  Having the love and support of awesome friends, great family, and the best girlfriend make me happy and tip the balance; the good in my life far outweighs the bad.

She said yes! Officialy Engaged

I have a sleeping problem.  Perhaps a better way to put it would be that I have a problem with sleep.  Why sleep?  Why you gotta come up all in my biz and get in my face like dat?  I already dedicate hours a day to my three jobs, homework, church responsibilities, a goat, and stalking people over the Internet.  You want 8?  To add emphasis, you want EIGHT?!  And if I don't deliver, you attack me and knock me unconscious right in the middle of lecture.  Root.  I still can't believe it... 8 hours?  Don't be ridiculous.  Ain't no body got time for that. 

It was a busy but nonetheless awesome weekend.  I guess that makes sense because I wouldn't waste my time with something that wasn't awesome anyways.  Well, with the exception of Sport Chalet that is.

A friend of mine, Andy, went through the Temple for the first time on Friday.  Andy is going to be serving a service mission starting tomorrow.  On Friday, I was his escort.  Though I know that the experience was super awesome for Andy, it was also really good for me.  It's been four years since I went through for myself and going through with Andy caused me to "relive" that in a way.  As we went through, I just thought of what things would be like from his perspective, what questions he would have, and things that would stick out to him.  I've been through countless times since I first went and some things just don't stand out anymore after all the repetition.  It was super grape.

If that wasn't cool enough, I also was privileged to hear Elder Holland speak.  He was in the area for an 11-Stake leadership training meeting and used the chance to also attend the Stake Conference for the Pleasanton Stake.  Though everyone who showed up, either from the Pleasanton Stake or from another Stake nearby, to hear Elder Holland's words, the rest was really good too.  That's the second time I had heard Elder Holland speak in person.  The first time was in the MTC.

Going back to Saturday, I had sushi for the first time.  It was good, except for the spicy stuff.  Thanks Dave.  We had to wait for an hour before sitting down (racism), but it was alright.  It's a good thing I don't keep sushi in my fridge, because I'd eat it.  A lot.  If I wasn't losing weight I would have to start watching my diet.  I haven't had much time for running or going to the gym since the semester started.  I'm turning into a chubby nerd.  Merilee hates it.

Oh by the way, Hayley, Merilee's roommate, was proposed to by her boyfriend Ben.  She said yes and they're officially engaged!  I guess Merilee will be looking for a new roommate in the coming months.

Pop Tarts and Entropy

As my dear friend Stacy knows, S'mores happens to be one of my favorite ice cream flavors.  It's only in stores for a couple months out of the year, unfortunately.  S'mores also happens to be my favorite Pop Tart flavor.  I don't usually eat Pop Tarts, or at least I didn't.  About two weeks ago I bought some because it was late at night and I had the munchies when I was at the store.  They have proven to be a tempting late night snack.  I'm actually quite embarrassed about it because I usually eat really really healthily, especially for being a single college guy.

So Friday was date night.  It was great.  It was Ward Temple Night so I met Merilee there.  I borrowed my brother's epic picnic basket (it truly is epic), and brought stuff for sandwiches that we ate before the session.

I got to the Temple early and called Tim, my close friend that I grew up with.  We caught up a little before we had to hang up.  Tim has been living in Ohio for almost two years.  His mom was like a second mother to me and passed the Thursday before Dad.  I've been worried about him and we haven't kept in touch much since I was at her funeral.  I was very relieved and happy to hear all the good news he had.  He's been facing lots of challenges and it made me so incredibly happy to hear that he was working things out.  I'm so proud of him.  Between Tim's news, a fun date, and being at the Temple, Friday was just a great day.  The Spirit was felt, and I had personal prayers answered.

So at work yesterday, I came up with a new name for my department.  Instead of being called Footwear, it should be renamed Entropy, because I feel like everything is steadily descending into chaos, especially now as we are preparing for inventory.  The book that I'm reading, The Infinite Atonement, by Tad Callister, mentions the law of entropy.  My Chemistry teacher explained it by saying that things in nature will always decay from an organized state into a less organized state.  Callister says that the law "suggests that the universe, left to itself, would constantly move toward a state of disorder."  He uses entropy to highlight the infinite power of the Atonement.  It's God's influence and power that reverse the effects of entropy, or chaos, death, disorder, and destruction that plague mortality.  You can look at it sort of like God being the mechanic that maintains a car that would otherwise eventually breakdown without intervention.

Pondering that lately has shown me that it's completely true.  God is who sustains us amid all the entropy in our lives.  Just as the power of the resurrection restores order to those bodies that have been afflicted by disease or death, God's influence and our Savior's Atonement restore order to our lives.  There are times when it feels like disorder and chaos can rule your life.  Work, school, family, health, faith, friends - all can feel like they are decaying and falling apart.  One of my favorite quotes from Preach My Gospel is in lesson 2 when it says

"As we rely on the Atonement of Jesus Christ, He can help us endure our trials, sicknesses, and pain. We can be filled with joy, peace, and consolation. All that is unfair about life can be made right through the Atonement of Jesus Christ" (emphasis added)

So life's pretty much looking up.  My friend is facing his challenges and making important decisions.  School really couldn't be going better.  I'm in a relationship that makes me very incredibly happy.  And I feel like God is answering my prayers.  At this moment in time, everything important to me seems to be falling into order, and it's not anything that I'm doing.

Orange Juice and Goat Milking Geniuses

At this moment there is a playlist on my blog that has a song by Otis Redding that is titled something like "Sittin' On the Dock of the Bay."  I enjoy this song.  I enjoy even more Sara bareilles' version while having rainymood.com on another tab.  That's just how I roll.

Tonight there is a Ward barbecue.  I'm pretty pumped for it since I can't remember when was the last time I went to a barbecue.  The occasion is to celebrate the marriage of a couple in the Ward.  They're having a bridal shower before the guys come over for the food.  It's great to see people take that important step, especially in a Singles Ward.  I don't know the couple extremely well, but I'm nonetheless happy for them.

I got some orange juice on Thursday.  It was sweet.

Mary, the mother of the family that I rent my room from, has resumed asking me when I'm going to get married.  Before Merilee and I broke up, Mary and I used to joke about me and Merilee starting our family out of the 100 square feet that I currently rent.  This week, Merilee and I decided to try dating again and Mary has naturally resumed the talk of marriage.  Mary and her husband, Dave, were talking about getting hitched on their second date.  I don't know what it must be like to have that happen.  Scary?  That's probably what I would have thought of the situation had it happened to me.  I've heard even more seemingly insane stories and they make me wonder why things can be so different with different couples.  Some just know right off, others take obnoxious amounts of time, and then there's plenty in between.  I don't think it really matters which kind of couple you end up being; what's more important is being happy while you are together.

This was a good week for school.  At least I think.  I aced my calculus exam from last week.  I was worried because I had left the exam feeling good but all my classmates were discussing how hard it was.  When people were getting their scores, most were content with a "C" or ecstatic with a "B".  I worried because my goal is always to have 4.0 status each semester, and doing poorly on this exam would have pretty much killed that chance for this semester.  I got it back on Monday and I did really well, so I'm happy about that.  I also had a physics exam on Tuesday.  I wasn't worried about it.  I was so not worried in fact, that I went for style points and forwent writing up a page of notes with all the formulas for reference on the exam.  I should get it back on Monday.

Merilee says I'm really smart.  I feel bad for being labeled as "smart" sometimes.  I think that being smart shouldn't just be being able to do things that others think they can't do.  There's a lot of things that others excel at that I don't think I could ever excel at.  These things include things like doily making, goat milking, advice giving, singing, writing in cursive, tickling, and whispering.  I don't think that I should be labeled as a genius because I know how to take symbols on a piece of paper and rearrange them into other symbols.  Anyways, I don't know where I was going with this.

Hobos, Dates, Fathers, and Epiphanies

Fancy Free T Shirt

I got a free T-shirt at work yesterday.  It made me think about why free T-shirts are so awesome.  It's as if the donation of the shirt made it infinitely more valuable than any other article of clothing in your closet,  with perhaps the exception of another even more valuable free T-shirt or your cozy socks.  Aren't things given supposed to be of less value than those you earn?  Nevertheless, whenever someone walks by giving out free T-shirts, you know I'm all over that like a hobo on a ham sandwich.

I guess I should mention what's going on in church.  Tomorrow I actually have the lesson in Elder's Quorum.  Last week I was in Ward Council and Merilee, a woman I was dating until about a month ago, announced that the sisters had conjured up a dating contest that would be starting that day.  It was called the Tri-Valley 2 Week Triple P Blitzkrieg.  She even wrote about it in her blog here.

Basically girls are trying to see who can get the most dates by either asking guys out or by being asked out since the Elders Quorum has been encouraged to have the same contest.  Anyways, I was a little disappointed when I heard about it.  Disappointed because I had already chosen dating as my lesson topic, and my lesson wasn't until the next week.  My Elder's Quorum President asked me what my lesson was going to be on a few weeks ago.  I told him that it would be better as a surprise.  He said, "oh are you going to be calling the brethren to repentance about their home teaching?"  I told him no, while thinking to myself, "it's even worse."  I had known that many girls were frustrated at the lack of dating going on in the Ward due to the men not asking anyone out, so I was pumped for the opportunity to address the issue.  Surprisingly, my feelings have changed this week.  I actually think that the timing was perfect and has allowed me to think of some new ideas for the lesson.

It's interesting how you think about some people more once they're gone.  One person I've been thinking a lot about is Dad.  Tomorrow will be two months.  At institute on Tuesday we were studying Romans and my corner of the room was assigned to read 8:14-18.  I'm kind of a loner and was sitting in the back row so I just read it myself while the other two or three read over it together.  I had had a train of thought going through my mind the past week, especially since Merilee posted a video on facebook.  It was a Mormon Message titled Earthly Father, Heavenly Father.  I had thought many times, while watching my brother Paul's kids, about the similarities between earthly parenthood and Godhood, and I really enjoyed the message.  The part that "hit" me was a quote at the end from the Quorum of the Twelve that said "Of all the titles of respect and honor and admiration that are given to Deity, he has asked us to address him as Father."  It made me reflect on my attitude towards God, especially while praying.

I've been praying for a lot of things lately.  Thinking of God as my Father actually really helps me to have hope.  That's what I felt in the five verses we read.  I felt like sharing my thoughts when it was my corner's turn to share what we read, but I didn't.  I just let the other guys talk.  I'm really not used to sharing personal stuff in front of people and I also didn't want Merilee to think that I stalk her page everyday.  But it was great thinking, or realizing rather, that my Dad, if he were here, would really be willing to give me anything as long as it was for my good.  He would do it because he loves me and wants me to be happy.  Even imperfect fathers know how to give good gifts to their children (Matthew 7:9-11), and I feel blessed to know that God is my Heavenly Father.  I know it's something so simple and that it's so fundamental that it's the very first topic taught to investigators but it just was great to think about this week.  I don't know why it takes a video on facebook or lessons at insitute for me to have these little epiphanies, but I'm grateful for them.  I feel like I've had a lot of these kinds of experiences recently.

I Should Get Nerd Glasses

Today was another day at the Chalet.  I hate my job.  I'll be the first to tell you that you should always be grateful for what you have and everything.  That being said, I really hate my job, the Chalet job anyways.  I guess I have three jobs total.  Someday.  Someday I will have a job that is worth my time, that doesn't involve spending every sunny weekend under florescent lights, that doesn't require me to listen to the same 5 song playlist for 8 hours straight, and that actually pays enough to pay my bills.  Today is not that day.

My other two jobs aren't bad.  I tutor for a learning center and for DVC.  Even DVC pays better than the Chalet, and I can usually get homework done in between students who need help.  Homework!  You know you are a deprived nerd when you long for those hours when you have time to do your physics homework.

The school week went well.  I got two exams back.  Guess who's a master at chemical kinetics?  That's right, Alicia.  She sits in front of me in lab and got 100%.  Guess who else?  That's right, me.  I would have gotten 100% if I had punched in a decimal correctly in my calculator when calculating the first order decomposition of hydrogen peroxide using the half-life of the integrated rate law.  I bet you don't even know what I'm talking about.  Don't I feel smart?

I actually am starting to feel smarter (after almost two years of college).  I'm finally in a math class that you can't take in high school.  My physics class so far is going really smoothly (I'm infinitely glad that I took the intro class last semester).  Chemistry is just dandy as well.

The other exam I had was a nutrition exam.  Compared to my other classes, it just seems like a joke.  Having read In Defense of Food doesn't help.  Nutrition is good but I don't like the ideology behind it.  Daily values and all that jazz just seems like garbage to me.  Like saying that 65g of fat is what you should eat is just insane.  Maybe I just feel that way because I have CF and I'm always just eating everything I can between classes and tutoring and work and I've never had to watch my diet.  Whatevs.  I'm biased.  I still aced the test.  I just regret having to waste time going to the lectures.

By the way, here's the quote I didn't have from last week: 
"There is a certain sociality in the presence of God that manifests itself in a fulness of joy... To be cast from the presence of the Holy One is estrangement of the worst kind. It is to take from us that which means most - our sense of belonging to the divine family. It is to strip us of security and self-worth in one fatal blow. It is like tearing the suckling babe from her mother’s bosom, sending the wayward child to his room, or sentencing the incorrigible to solitary confinement. It is akin to restricting our communication with a loved one to the telephone; the lines can be clear, the conversation frequent, but the happiness that comes from being in another’s physical presence is missing."

Suits and Sofa Bears

So today I was at least semi-productive, which is pretty good for a Saturday.  I woke up at 7:30, actually I woke up around 6:00 or 6:30, but I thought that it was obnoxious to be getting up so early, so I didn't get up until 7:30.  I guess defeating obnoxiousness was my first feat of the day.  After that I had a snack and went for a run.  And now I've been coughing up junk all morning.  That's what I get for not running for like a month.  I jogged over to Emerald Glen park about a mile from my house and did sprints and stuff in front of about 10 elderly Asians doing Tai Chi in the area with the basketball hoops. I've never had such calming music to listen to while exercising. I usually just jog with no music at all. That way the sofa bears won't know.

Feat number two, or three if you count running, was eating breakfast. I also went over to Macy's and gave them my suit jacket to get altered. I got it like two months ago and just haven't gotten around to getting it done. I figured a $200 or so gift for Christmas should finally get some use, and I had time this morning before work. I got some guitar time in, scheduled a PPI for tomorrow with someone in the Elder's Quorum. How many feats is that? Like 6? I'm on fire.

I went to the Temple last night to do a session and try to get some sealings done for some names that were found in my dad's apartment.  I'll have to go back to do the sealings later because the people in the office said that I needed to double check Familysearch to make sure that the parents were sealed first.  I had  great time anyways.  It was the biggest group I remember seeing.  I don't usually do evening sessions. It took a while to get everyone through the veil.

I had some valuable insights during the session. At work I had been reading in The Infinite Atonement during my lunch. I hadn’t finished the chapter that I was in so I finished reading it in the Temple parking lot. The chapter was about the Fall. The last bit that I had read in the parking lot talked a lot about what being in or away from God’s presence means and it gave me some new perspectives that I hadn’t thought of before. During the session, I was able to think about it from a little different perspective. There’s a good quote from the book that I really liked but it’s down in the car so I’ll have to get it later.

While waiting for my turn at the veil, I was thinking about this valuable lesson that I had learned. Going to the Temple without prior study and preparation is like going to a nice restaurant without bringing your wallet. You can probably go in and sit down. They might even bring you a glass of water for you to enjoy while you soak up the beautiful ambiance and the company of friends. However, you will leave hungry. At the nicest restaurants of all, you should be eating your fill and then getting a box for the leftovers, not leaving hungry, right? This ain't Denny’s where you just leave whatever you didn’t feel like eating on your plate.  

I regret doing that too many times.  I've gone to the Temple plenty of times when I wasn't reading scriptures or anything really and it wasn't nearly as uplifting as last night.

Lemonade. Too acidic and too sour.

What's that expression?  If/When life gives you lemons... what do you do? Squeeze them?  Eat them?  Construct a lemon launcher and take out those pesky squirrels in your backyard?  I know the phrase really says to make lemonade, but I dislike lemonade.  Actually, I just prefer orange juice much more.  I really do.  Whenever it's on sale at either Safeway or Target, I stock up with about 6 or 7 jugs, enough to last me until they're on sale again.  Target doesn't keep as many in stock as Safeway, which is unfortunate sometimes.

I always get the Minute Made Kids kind, which is fortified with vitamins and calcium.  It says for kids but really, who wouldn't want fortification?  My doctor actually said that my vitamin D levels were low, so there, I'm justified.  Though I guess they have the kind with just extra vitamin D and calcium... whatever.

Some people dislike orange juice because of its pulp or sweetness.  I like it with pulp, without pulp, anywhere in between, and with any degree of sweetness.  The only kind of orange juice I really don't like is the fake kind they give you at the free breakfasts at hotels.  That's not really orange juice, it's watered down fake stuff.  Orange juice is so good for you too.  I learned in my nutrition class this last week that a half cup of it counts as a serving of fruit.  To sum up my love for orange juice, I love it so bad, I could have it all day, everyday, forever and ever, and never get bored of it.

The only problem is, I don't have any oranges.  Instead, life has given me lemons.  What am I to do?  My taste buds yearn only for that perfect sweetness that comes from the OJ.  Lemonade is usually really sugary.  Have you heard of any benefits of lemonade?  I haven't.  And don't tell me about them if they exist; I don't want to hear it.  Lemonade is too sour, and its acidity makes my stomach feel like its being corroded from within.

Okay, I ask the question again.  What am I to do?  It is a serious and unfortunate dilemma.  My will is directly opposed to what has been made available to me.  I most certainly will not make lemonade.  The effort would only go to waste.  I cannot change lemons into oranges, and I don't have a backyard full of pesky squirrels.  I've been delt a hand in life and it's really sad to not have what I want and what I feel I need.  I know I should try lemonade again and try to forget how good the orange juice was.  I know I believe that if I did that, I'd be happy.  I guess that's the problem.  What I know and believe isn't necessarily what I want.

And yes, I'm talking about juice.